I have been trying to buy new clothes and every time it results in BIG MASSIVE FAIL. Here are some of my problems: 1. I have no patience for the hunt. None. I want to go to one place and walk out with clothing.
2. Regardless of whether this is objectively true or not, I feel like I am too young for “classic” and too old for “cool.”
3. I have a weird in-between workplace. I cannot wear jeans, but I do not have to “dress up.”
4. I have a weird body. Don’t get me wrong, if you were lucky enough to get me naked you would probably die of delight, but fitting my deliciousness into commercially produced clothes is another matter. I am short. I am skinny in some places and thick in others. It adds up to an off-the-rack disaster.
5. I only sort of care. I want to be comfortable, I want to feel like I look good, and I want most things to be machine washable. Beyond that I sometimes get an attitude, like I have more important things to worry about than clothes. The only problem with this attitude is that I end up in crises like the current one, where I have about three or four outfits I actively like and many others that I tolerate.
6. I am kind of cheap. Or maybe it’s not so much “cheap” as “stuck in the past.” I am like a shopping grandma: “Fifty dollars! For that rag! Back in my day…” Yeah well. Back in “my day” I got most of my clothing either from the thrift store in my economically-depressed college town or actually out of a dumpster. Now I am trying to hit Michigan Avenue chain stores on my lunch hour. There is a…bit of a price differential.
